[It's not as much of a shock as it might have been, under different circumstances. It fits with the rest of the pieces - with the deal for Kujen, with other hints Mikodez has dropped. He's entertained the possibility Mikodez threw in with Cheris, no matter how self-indulgent - or gullible - it seemed to consider. Of course, that doesn't mean it isn't all part of the same story. But it fits with other things not under his control, with Mikodez the child and Mikodez the father both.]
[He has a lot of stories, most of them with some degree of truth to them. His feelings about Jedao aside, he could be useful. Which, of course, makes the stories more suspect. He still takes some sort of enjoyment from following the possible moves, that's the final (perhaps only) line he's drawn.
He doesn't know why anyone would think immortality would be enjoyable.]
The other hexarchs. That were. They were all paranoid in their own ways and yet they didn't look the right way. Maybe they put it together, in their last moments.
Once I fed him the question. The Hexarchate has it's endless problems but I didn't want to let it be assumed we share Earth stupidity.
[From what the other him had known in the breach, from knowing what he does about Jedao, for watching Fives - if he was trapped by someone saying that, in part, it has been an effort just to be helpful, he holds onto the right of claiming remaining breach bleed through.]
Obsession with games and solving with violence at least fit inside the stereotype. Dealing with assumptions of general sexual hangups isn't part of my job description.
[If Jedao had talked to Fives, then Mikodez wouldn't have felt a need to have the 'conversation'. Just because that's not his reason for telling Jedao, he considers it a reason.]
[It was a deliberately vague question, and it's an interesting sideways choice of answer. Jedao laughs, quietly, to himself, which is easier than figuring out what the fuck he's going to do about Fives. There's more to it than the Kel, more that is hard to think and nearly impossible to say.]
I'll be sure to get you a present for going above and beyond.
[Though, really, Jedao has already given him the gift Mikodez had most wanted from him. Well, he hadn't exactly given the assurance he's not returning to the Hexarchate but Mikodez is almost certain.]
[In front of it, Jedao has left a partially collapsed lump of glass that might, possibly, have been intended as an apple - or possibly something else entirely.]
[There's definitely a certain degree of dry humor hidden behind text but his thanks is close to honest. He carefully puts the lump of glass next to his potted onion so they can both catch the light. He attaches a picture.]
[There are even moments when he can look at it and not automatically run through all the ways he could use it to kill someone, which is practically the point of hobbies.]
Hobbies are good for you.
[And since he practices what he says -]
I've left something for you, on the door handle of the empty cabin next to Holden's.
[The knitted mittens are practically a different color on every new line of stitching. The affect suggests someone who got very enthusiastic about the idea of rainbow mittens - without any interest in order of color.]
[He hates how much he likes them. He doesn't know how he feels about Mikodez's praise or - helpfulness. It was easier to like him when his outlook on Jedao consisted mostly of tense disapproval. Easier to feel safely eccentric and disaffected and uncooperative. Or. Something.]
I know.
[He thinks about Cheris's stupid dueling dramas. That hurts, but at least he understands why.]
[Mastering certain card tricks are practically a requirement for graduating from a Shuos Academy. Mikodez could still pull them off, with various amounts of flourish in his sleep. Or, slightly more impressively, after several days without sleep.
Jedao might know different variations but Mikodez is almost certain it’s the same for him.
Istradez had once not quite joked that Mikodez saw the Shuos as a house of cards. Cheris isn’t quite part of that game, Jedao is. It’s a demarcation of something like feelings that he doesn’t plan on ever sharing with Jedao. He suspects that it wouldn’t be appreciated, anyway.
Still it's why, sometime later, he makes video contact. Both he, and the cat sitting on his lap, look mildly exasperated.]
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[But it did what he needed it to do in the end, as it turns out.]
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[He could think of quite a lot to say on the subject, personally. Not entirely the point.]
I killed them all, I can't say if it came as a surprise or not, at the end.
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A surprise to whom?
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He doesn't know why anyone would think immortality would be enjoyable.]
The other hexarchs. That were. They were all paranoid in their own ways and yet they didn't look the right way. Maybe they put it together, in their last moments.
[It's not their last moments he's thinking of.]
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Do you still consider yourself one?
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[He doesn't know what will happen, what words will be chosen, but he'll be the Shuos hexarch, even if it ends up with a different name.]
What do you consider yourself?
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[Not the only true answer. But the one he feels no ambivalence about, and no uncertainty, which is a particular kind of honesty.]
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Fives didn't ask anything about you. I told him something of how the Kel work.
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But he asked about something.
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Once I fed him the question. The Hexarchate has it's endless problems but I didn't want to let it be assumed we share Earth stupidity.
[From what the other him had known in the breach, from knowing what he does about Jedao, for watching Fives - if he was trapped by someone saying that, in part, it has been an effort just to be helpful, he holds onto the right of claiming remaining breach bleed through.]
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[Not necessarily. Witness Mikodez's various recent archicides.]
Why tell me?
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[If Jedao had talked to Fives, then Mikodez wouldn't have felt a need to have the 'conversation'. Just because that's not his reason for telling Jedao, he considers it a reason.]
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I'll be sure to get you a present for going above and beyond.
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[Though, really, Jedao has already given him the gift Mikodez had most wanted from him. Well, he hadn't exactly given the assurance he's not returning to the Hexarchate but Mikodez is almost certain.]
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Be careful opening your door.
[In front of it, Jedao has left a partially collapsed lump of glass that might, possibly, have been intended as an apple - or possibly something else entirely.]
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[There's definitely a certain degree of dry humor hidden behind text but his thanks is close to honest. He carefully puts the lump of glass next to his potted onion so they can both catch the light. He attaches a picture.]
I'm glad you've taken up some new hobbies.
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[Which is part of what makes it a present.]
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Hobbies are good for you.
[And since he practices what he says -]
I've left something for you, on the door handle of the empty cabin next to Holden's.
[The knitted mittens are practically a different color on every new line of stitching. The affect suggests someone who got very enthusiastic about the idea of rainbow mittens - without any interest in order of color.]
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I know.
[He thinks about Cheris's stupid dueling dramas. That hurts, but at least he understands why.]
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Jedao might know different variations but Mikodez is almost certain it’s the same for him.
Istradez had once not quite joked that Mikodez saw the Shuos as a house of cards. Cheris isn’t quite part of that game, Jedao is. It’s a demarcation of something like feelings that he doesn’t plan on ever sharing with Jedao. He suspects that it wouldn’t be appreciated, anyway.
Still it's why, sometime later, he makes video contact. Both he, and the cat sitting on his lap, look mildly exasperated.]
Please tell me you said no.
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I appreciate that you're trying to help. I really do.
So please believe I'm being sincere when I say, from the bottom of my withered old heart:
Fuck off.
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You really shouldn't.
[He hopes that Jedao remembers enough of how things work to not appreciate help, perhaps especially not genuine help.]
By the way, if I'm eaten by shadows I've nominated you as the next hexarch. My desire to help is unquenchable.
[And that way, if Jedao ever does save him, it can carefully not be at all about them. Mikodez prefers it that way.]
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And you don't get to nominate anyone. Your Zehun does.
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Or I hope they do, anyway, otherwise I'd need to look for a new personal assistant.
[He would have a list.]
Remember to look after you health.
[Which is, in fact, his way of cheerfully fucking off.]